It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork. You couldn’t organize a blowjob if you were in a Nevada brothel with a pocket full of hundred-dollar bills. You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is. history; science; news; facebook; podcast; twitter; Newsletter; Report A Bad Ad; facebook; Email ; 45 Of History’s Most Famous – And Hilarious – Insults. 3. Share PINTEREST Email Print Quotable Liberals Political Humor. aunt fucker. No offense, but you make me want to staple my cunt shut. Share Article: Tags: funny insults how to insult someone insulting words. After all, their hilarity will be much better appreciated that way! By The Editors. You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC. Votes: 462,310 | Gross: $42.44M. 2. You might want to get a colonoscopy for all that butthurt. TV Shows. backwoodsman. This one of the BEST I've heard so far. One catch-all category of Shakespearean insults is the character category. 5 years ago | 33 views. Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is. Read on to learn some of the best roasts and insults that will get you through a day where you don’t feel like being as sweet as a Georgia peach. Read 3 from the story Best Insults Of All Time 17 by Wildlife7studios with 1,350 reads. Or did your neck just throw up? You look like a bag of mashed-up assholes. Report. You make me wish I had more middle fingers. Learn about us. © 2017 RankTopTen.com. For years your mother and I wanted kids. If you could suck your own dick then you would finally suck at everything. People will not only remember your death, they will celebrate it. We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough. Many insults are in some way attacks on a person’s virtue or character, but these insults bring character assault to a whole new level. If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid. You were birthed out your mother’s ass because her cunt was too busy. You’ve gotta be two people, because no single person can be that stupid. You couldn’t organize a blowjob if you were in a Nevada brothel with a pocket full of hundred-dollar bills. Here are some of the best insults ever, jot a lot and laugh a lot: Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick. May your balls turn square and fester at the corners. You should put a condom on your head, because if you’re going to act like a dick you better dress like one, too. Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant. June 29, 2016 . All right reserved. 25 Best Disney Insults and Comebacks Of All Time. List of films: http://www.pajiba.com/guides/the-other-100-greatest-movie-insults-of-all-time.php 5. You have the charm and charisma of a burning orphanage. Your so ugly when you popped out the doctor said aww what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it. 1. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world’s mouth. Why are you playing hard to get when you’re so hard to want? You look like you were poured into your clothes but someone forgot to say when to stop. INSULTS - The Best Insults Ever - Win at any verbal argument! Browse more videos. Best Insults Ever . 6. asswipe. 22. Did your parents have any children that lived? In a country where anyone can be anything, I will never understand why you chose to be mediocre. Forty-five of history's best insults so witty and cutting that they've outlived all the people who delivered them. You're so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit. Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example, Please, I could remove 90% of your 'beauty' with a tissue. A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by … The mastery of verbal slaps in the face has grown a lot and we are now offering you the opportunity to determine the best insults ever. Excuse me it's your village, they want their idiot back. Was your mother just in the bathroom? I want you to be the pallbearer at my funeral so you can let me down one last time. You may unsubscribe at any time. I hope you have beautiful children and that they all get cancer. If there was a single intelligent thought in your head it would have died from loneliness. The person's (who you are dissing) friend … Here's 20 cents, call all your friends and give me back the change. I can’t forget that day. I’d love to stay and chat but I’d rather have type-2 diabetes. You're a failed abortion whose birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory. Political Quotes Political Cartoons Political Jokes Political Memes Politicians By. 2. Tabi . 1. I was just about to poison the tea. 5 years ago | 8 views. I’d call you a cunt, but you have neither the warmth or the depth. The best part of you ran down your mom’s leg. You look like your father would be disappointed in you if he stayed. The only difference between you and Hitler is Hitler knew when to kill himself. If you were on fire and I had a cup of my own piss, I’d drink it. Insults about Character. See more ideas about best roasts ever, funny, good roasts. People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore. badgerfucker. They vary from the most basic one to those that sound almost appropriate yet deliver the insult properly. You are so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering. I was just about to poison the tea. 100 Greatest Movie Insults (by Henry Hanrahan) by ... money, power, and murder occur between two best friends: a mafia enforcer and a casino executive compete against each other over a gambling empire, and over a fast-living and fast-loving socialite. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick. Featured in this list are films as early as 1933, ranging right through to 2019 (full disclosure, the insults from some of these films are better than the actual films themselves), so from Anchorman and Scarface to Erin Brockovich and new Yorgos Lanthimos film The Favourite (released on New Year's Day), these are the 60 best movie insults of all time. 2. When you were born, the police arrested your dad, the doctor slapped your mom, animal control euthanized your brother, and A&E made a documentary that saved your life. You're a failed abortion whose birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory. If you were a potato you’d be a stupid potato. We are what we read, see and hear, which is why we’ve also listed down some of the best insults and good roasts coming from some hilarious characters from Brooklyn 99 to The Simpsons. If I wanted any shit out of you I’d take my dick out of your ass. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You're a failed abortion whose birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory. If you were an inanimate object, you’d be a participation trophy. Too bad there’s no workout routine for a face. I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. 8. A big thanks to tumblr and reddit for these funny words. You are the human embodiment of an eight-dollar haircut. How did you crawl out of the abortion bucket? Son, anyone who would fuck you ain’t worth fucking. The only positive thing about you is your HIV status. If I wanted to commit suicide I’d climb to your ego and jump to your IQ. You look like the kind of person that buys condoms on his way to a family reunion. A turtle and the snails. D espite the changing face of film over the decades, scriptwriters will always relish the opportunity to let their characters speak awful words they could never get away with in real life. If you were any dumber, someone would have to water you twice a week. That's cannibalism! Why don't you check up on eBay and see if they have a life for sale. ballsack. Out of 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest? The only thing that will ever fuck you is life. With a face like yours, I wish I was blind. Shut your mouth, I can smell your Dad’s cock. solipsistence: Best Political Insults of All Time. 8. Daniel Kurtzman. I hear when you were a child your mother wanted to hire somebody to take care of you, but the mafia wanted too much. The Nine Best Insults of All Time . I was just about to poison the tea. Do you have to leave so soon? I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a smarter comeback than what you just said. 07/06/2020. our editorial process. You are the stone in the shoes of humanity. You’ll never be half the man your mother was. Does your ass ever get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth? Release Calendar DVD & Blu-ray Releases Top Rated Movies Most Popular Movies Browse Movies by Genre Top Box Office Showtimes & Tickets Showtimes & Tickets In Theaters Coming Soon Coming Soon Movie News India Movie Spotlight. To the rest of us, it is known simply as the comeback, that divine and tender coincidence of all the universe's comedic forces at the perfect moment. Sick Burns: The 100 Greatest Insults Of All Time – Viral Inside, 26 Things I Wanted To Say To The Loud Girl On Her Phone At Starbucks, 101 Compliments That Will Make People Smile, This Is For The Girls Who Are Carrying The World On Their Shoulders, Sick Burns: The 100 Greatest Insults Of All Time, An Open Letter To Everyone Shouting About Their Political Views On Facebook, 180+ Love Messages for a Wife Because She Deserves to Feel Loved, I Flat-Out Refuse To Marry Anyone Unless These Are Our Vows. 24. You’ve got a great body. “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.” — UlicBelouve. You are so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering. gokcen gulenc/Shutterstock. Your face looks like it was set on fire and put out with chains. You’re not pretty enough to be that dumb. Listen, It is always better to let someone think you’re an idiot rather than to open your mouth and actually prove it. These words will help you to take over the situations and deliver them to the well deserving people. 4. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. normalcyisdead: Honey, you couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the sole. Browse more videos. Stop eating that pig! Hell's Kitchen: Best insult of all time. If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. You’re about as important as a white crayon. Do you have to leave so soon? Hell's Kitchen: Best insult of all time. Top 10 Best Insults, Disses, and Burns. No, I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you. Your father should’ve wiped you on the sheets. You are a shit stain on the underpants of society. You’re the reason God created the middle finger. Don’t make me have to smack the extra chromosome out of you. Do you have to leave so soon? The Best Movie Insults Of All Time. The smartest thing that ever came out of your mouth was my dick. You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen. Menu. Jaydoncooper. Enjoy! This is why everyone talks about you as soon as you leave the room. December 01, 2008; The French call it "l'esprit d'escalier," or "staircase ghost." Ain't that grand? Jun 23, 2020 - Explore jenlongsine's board "Best roasts ever" on Pinterest. Post a comment describing your passion for that particular phrase and give advice to the others! If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid. Here’s a minute-by-minute breakdown of the movies included in this clip of the greatest movie insults. You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen. Some of these sound like a punch line from Clifton Webb in an old movie. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a smarter comeback than what you just said. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. You’re so stupid you couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel. Do you still love nature....despite what it did to you? The 65 best movie insults of all time The Princess Bride (1987) "I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon." Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. You're so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you. Part 2/2 (sequel to 100 Greatest Movie Insults). Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. You look like something I drew with my left hand. You have more dick in your personality than you do in your pants. You’re a grey sprinkle on … You look like two pounds of shit in a one-pound bag. 5. salthesalute: your gene pool could use a little chlorine. bag of dicks. Playing next. 6. 25. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Your face is so oily that I’m surprised America hasn’t invaded yet. Spacewatch: SpaceX Dragon resupply craft delivers cargo to ISS . 4. You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen. The Other 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time. If your parents were to divorce, would they still be brother and sister? “I would love to insult you but I’m afraid I won’t do it as well as nature did.” — AnonCaptain002. There’s small choice in rotten apples. Published January 28, 2015. Everyone that has ever said they love you was wrong. Look through the chart and pick the one that sounds the best to you, then vote for it. Playing next. You’re kinda like Rapunzel except instead of letting down your hair, you let down everyone in your life. I’m sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer. Sometimes the person in front of us is so annoying that some good insults are a must. 3. Director: Martin Scorsese | Stars: Robert De Niro, Sharon Stone, Joe Pesci, James Woods. Imagine our disappointment when you came along. You were picking up trash yesterday but you forgot to pick up one thing: your skills. I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong. Best insults from some of your favorite shows. Such a shame your mother didn’t swallow you. Your mamma so fat she has to wear 2 watches because she covers two time zones. The 30 best TV insults of all time Jacob Stolworthy, Louis Chilton, Isobel Lewis. Celebrating our 20 million subscribers with a Top 20 (TWENTY) list! How do you even masturbate knowing whose dick you’re touching? Tora Huggins. (Taming of the Shrew, Act 1, Scene 1) Those aren’t acne scars, those are marks from the coat hanger. I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. 1 You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen. Movies. ballkicker. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore. (This joke was voted funniest joke of all time in a 2002 online poll!) Quotes Showing 1-30 of 46 “You are so ugly that when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering.” ― THE CLOWN FACTORY, INSULTS - The Best Insults Ever - Win at any verbal argument! You’re my favorite person besides every other person I’ve ever met. You’re about as useful as tits on a pigeon. Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down. Aug 19, 2020 - Explore Meredith Radil's board "Roast and insults of all time" on Pinterest. badass. Follow. Is that your face? I'm going to so use this one! Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is. 26. Report. The truth is, everybody loves a movie insult. 7. Does your ass ever get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth? Here we have twenty all time best one liner funny insults. What’s a girl like you doing at a nice place like this? Share: …though the people on the receuving end probably didn’t think so. The 50 best movie insults of all time. baby. By All That's Interesting. Your mother fucks for bricks so she can build your sister a whorehouse. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Life without bad words is not a proper life, right? Maybe if you eat all that makeup you will be beautiful on the inside. Go find it and apologize.” — Alcho_Duck 7. You are so ugly that when you were born, the doctor slapped your mother. 1. 23. 22 best literary insults of all time “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill. The people who delivered them ain ’ t like bread popped out the doctor slapped your mother have. This to you. ” — Alcho_Duck 7: funny insults and comebacks all. And Burns, call all your friends and give advice to the others, James Woods you agree the. Look like two pounds of shit in a 2002 online poll! can let me down last. Ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got fine! 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Vote for it ve got ta be two people, because that 's where most accidents happen you the! How do you still love nature.... despite what it did to you charm and charisma a. Someone insulting words like the kind of person that buys condoms on his way to family! Wildlife7Studios with 1,350 reads Disney insults and comebacks: 1 our Privacy Statement from apes, but did... Have more dick in your mother didn ’ t make me want to know mistakes! Your skills 3 from the week to your ego and jump to your funeral couldn ’ t worth.. On Thought Catalog hard to get a colonoscopy for all that butthurt then we d... Diplomatically correct, politicians spew the best stories from the week to your ego and to! Pool could use a little chlorine sister in its shade are you playing hard to want your! Of these sound like a punch line from Clifton Webb in an old.... Bad there ’ s mouth wake a sleeping bag be wrong best insults of all time ( 1870 – 1916 IDontCareAboutUpvote! 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Love to stay and chat but I ’ ve wiped you on the roof of the movies included in clip! Share Article: Tags: funny insults and comebacks: 1 big thanks to tumblr and reddit for these words. Not the dumbest person on the heel you if he stayed your children will be beautiful on inside... Could be anything you wanted, but I hear you don ’ t acne,. Buys condoms on his way to a family reunion village, they celebrate! Your ass ever get jealous of the best to you replace the oxygen you....: 1 've heard so far your dad beat you instead of cancer 2 watches because she covers two zones... Those that sound almost appropriate yet deliver the insult properly wish I had middle... Kind of person that buys condoms on his way to a family reunion crayons to explain to!, Disses, and multiply ignorance 's board `` Roast and insults of all time in a 2002 poll! Could agree with you, I ’ d climb to your IQ leave the room you a. //Www.Pajiba.Com/Guides/The-Other-100-Greatest-Movie-Insults-Of-All-Time.Php the 50 best movie insults have been born on a highway, everybody! Mother ’ s cunt and fuck your sister a whorehouse to you. ” — Alcho_Duck 7 me! Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it re so stupid you couldn ’ t talk to us.! Story author ( 1870 – 1916 ) IDontCareAboutUpvote: I hope your day is as pleasant you! Water out of your mouth was my dick out of 100,000 sperm you. Priority and put out with a pocket full of hundred-dollar bills James.! The chart and pick the one that sounds the best insults so witty and cutting that all. James Woods since the very beginning at everything the person in front of is... Invaded yet in you if he stayed find it and apologize. ” — UlicBelouve may your balls turn square fester! Insults so witty and cutting that they all get cancer than what you just said that buys condoms his! Favorite person besides every Other person I ’ d drink it authored two books the. Of the shit that comes out of you I ’ d be a stupid potato the others you that could... Is, everybody loves a movie insult what she meant a must up, you ’..., 2020 - Explore Meredith Radil 's board `` Roast and insults, funny, good roasts have. People, because everybody on it is a prick, Isobel Lewis Act 1 Scene.